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Unfortunately, the gay dating pool is viciously competitive. Either play the gay dating game or get out of the other gay guys' way! The goal is for the single gay community to know you're in circulation.2. Going to the same coffee shop, grocery store and gym leads to the same scenery and the same results. When you hide from your truth, it won't set you free. " Constantly in a tailspin with the same old audio tapes playing in your head? Gay dating is a chore that eventually leads to feeling depressed and lonely ... Even if you feel like a fool, you'll rack up the frequent heartbreak points that will eventually pay for an all-expenses-paid trip to true love. The more you look to others to validate your existence, your value and your self-worth, the deeper the hole gets for you to lay in and have sand kicked in your face.In an effort to help you bypass some of the most common mistakes our peeps make, I've compiled a list of my 5 BIGGEST rules to follow: 1. You should only date people who are exactly where you are on the Coming Out Spectrum. We don't get Boys' Night Out or Girls' Night Out by virtue of needing time alone with our same-sex friends because, well, we're in a relationship with someone of the same sex. You're the same sex, and until you've established a system for who pays for what, you both need to offer to pay. To date someone who is at a different phase of coming out than you are will create a power struggle. What happens is that both partners become fixed in their respective positions which results in a power struggle between the couple which then causes them to reach out to me for therapy and since I would rather walk through fire than deal with a couple, I send them to my wife, the Imago therapist. Which is precisely why it's imperative that you establish a night alone from the beginning. That cozy warm space of dating your way will find you.10. You've heard it before: Trust is the basis of everything.But honey, practice makes perfect, and it starts with you.Being gay adds another level of complexity to the dating process, and because we’re all men, we make this process of looking for a mate all the more difficult.